I feel like this past year or two has been one prolonged lesson in giving up. It's become a hazy, muddled blur trying to figure out how long to keep fighting for things that I think are of value. At some point one has to face the reality that what you see on the surface is what is actually there. That perhaps nothing more does lurk beneath it. That actions do in fact speak louder than words, and that your time may be better expressed on other things. This is a tough pill to swallow, indeed.
I don't like giving up, most of the time anyway. I'm someone who is willing to hang in there and fight the good fight. I can and do allow myself to be seen and vulnerable (under the right circumstances), but it's when time passes and my many attempts at receiving some kind of genuine validation in return never come to any sort of reasonable fruition, that I realize I need to be more disciplined about recognizing when I'm immersed in a losing battle. I need to see the forest through the trees. I need to let it go.
