Foresight.

If only there were a way to know how each step that you take leads to something you never would've planned. If this cursed sentience could somehow be beneficial and not absolute torture; to make use of it for good; to rest it instead of being lost in constant wonder. This tyranny of words and thoughts and questions with no good answers. Every action has a reaction. I look back at the big decisions and know what may have went wrong or right, but it's the smallest decisions that have made the most impact. Those are the moments where you are living in the present and not even thinking about what you are doing so you never even worry.... but then years later... 10, 20, 30 years later.... those miniscule events have fallen upon you, like leaves, till you are buried to your neck and have no idea how you got there. This absolute burden of hindsight is overwhelming. The guilt of happiness. The conscious defiance of sadness. Remorse for doing what you want to do most, and regret for choosing yourself instead of others. There is no winning this game; everything is an obstacle to be overcome, but overcoming them only creates even more obstacles. It is amazing to think of all the steps it took to get to this point. How every meaningless one of them brought me here. Every memory full of riddles of what's to come, like fortunes. If only the riddles could be interpreted before the memories for once...