And an outtake that I was really torn about using:
And here is the one I took after midnight tonight to use for 12/365:
The interesting fact about both of these shots today are that in all of them, I did not see what I was doing with the camera. In the first one that butterfly covered my eyes so I just laid down in bed and held my camera up in the air, hoping it would be framed well. (All in all I took about 10 shots). In the collage image from tonight, I took the pictures in the dark with my body under the covers of my bed. I held the camera under the blankets and snapped off, again, about 10 shots at various angles without being able to see what would turn out. It was fun to collage them together. I really like the abstract feeling of the lines and shapes, and how they have a definite sexual/sensual connotation to them. At least, to me they do.
One thing that this project is making me painfully aware of, is that breaking out of my controlled boundaries is quite difficult. It is exceedingly challenging to use something as technical as a camera, particularly a no-frills point-n-shoot, and do something free with it. Often I have an image in my mind of how I want a photograph to look, but I can't seem to achieve it correctly. It can be extremely frustrating.
I want to use this project to see myself in new ways. To break away from this image of myself in my mind, and explore different sides of myself. Being lazy is so easy - to just take a quick snapshot of myself and be done with it. Check it off my list. But manipulating these ideas and trying to create some sort of art out of these photographs is something I intend to be very consciously working on. The hardest part is letting go of the need to control how I look in other people's eyes. That need for validation and praise of what I put "out there." This project is for me and not anyone else. It is important that I continue to remind myself of that fact...
XO,
M.M.
P.S. I scored a coveted Polaroid SX-70 camera at the thrift store yesterday for a mere $6.00! I intend to sell it at a considerable profit, but before I do I bought some of this to play with. I am really excited. Each shot will end up costing me approximately $4.00 a piece, so I'd better choose them carefully... :o0