Shock.

An old friend of mine passed away two days ago, but I just found out about it yesterday. He was never my best friend, but rather, someone I hung out with and drank many beers. He was a skater and an artist and did a zine. Usually what we'd talk about together was zine stuff. I knew him best about 7-8 years ago, as he was one of my boyfriend's (at the time) best friends. Recently, I would see his posts on Facebook and think to myself how he hasn't grown up at all, and how he still had this free-for-all punk rock attitude, and honestly it kind of got on my nerves. He would criticize people who'd settled down and had kids. He just seemed to live his adult life the same way as he did in his teens. Looking back, I suppose there is something to be admired about that? Maybe somewhere inside he knew that he would never grow old? An intuition of sorts, so he held onto his youth as long as possible, never succumbing to being a "grown-up." He drowned in a river in New Jersey. I still don't know why he was in the river, or what the circumstances exactly were, but it seems to have been some sort of an accident and not in any way intentional. Part of the fact that it was an accident is a relief, and part of it makes his death that much more shocking and hard to grasp. He was always kind of a skinny, sickly looking kid, and all the news reports said witnesses reported seeing him struggling in the water as he floated past them. I can't help but imagine what his last moments must've been like - trying to keep his head above water, desperately, before finally losing the strength and will to fight it. I don't like thinking of these things. When people I know die, it makes me sad, but it also makes me painfully aware of how random and fleeting life is. You never know when your time is up, and we'll never know what awaits us on the other side. Life is a strange and mysterious thing. Rest in peace, Chris Thatcher. I will remember you forever.