I have been completely unable to focus on anything as of late. There is so much chaos around me, and I just want to crawl into bed and pretend it isn't there. But I can't. There is too much to do.
I've been staying up too late, then waking up too early. The lack of sleep isn't really helping my state of mind or level of energy much, but it is what it is. My brain is too busy to leave me be for more than 4 or 5 hours rest at a time. I'm exhausted.
In my previous post I talked about transporting my *stuff*. I am so sick of stuff right now, you have no idea. Today is the second yard sale in as many weeks. After the last sale, I donated an entire packed car load to the thrift store. This time whatever is left will be placed on the curb for the vultures to pick at. I don't want any of these things anymore. These things that at one time seemed precious enough to warrant spending a buck or two on. Now my mind is made up and I find them useless and heavy, both literally and metaphorically. All I want is to start anew, free of all of this meaningless garbage.
So tired. I wish that I could sleep, but there is too much to do. The house is a mess. I have places to be. Groceries are meager. Bills need to be paid. Orders need to be packed and shipped. Mountains of piles of molehills to climb before I can finally be free of this mess. To say that "I am looking forward to it" would be a massive understatement. It's like digging myself out of a collapsed cave with only a teaspoon. I am starting to see a spark of light showing through now, so I am looking at that and ignoring the remaining blackness around me as best I can. It isn't easy.
