My brain is always doomscrolling, focusing on the absolute worst aspects of any situation. Not without reason, when you consider my past and how my life has been an endless string of pain and disappointments. This time right now feels monumentally different than other times, though. There's a certain energy about it that I don't think I have experienced before. But yet, it's been months and months of obstacles in my way that I can't seem to get past. All I want in the world is to move on to that next step, but for some reason, as hard as I'm trying, The Universe keeps holding me back. I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, so I'm sure these obstacles are serving a purpose, but right now I am so frustrated and ready to give up. I have been ground down to the bone, eroded, and I'm worn clear through. It's getting harder and harder to keep pushing for what I want and need. Today I was feeling completely broken. Just wrung out till there was nothing left. Then a few desperately needed words were sent my way and the clouds have parted once again. Time to buckle up and push just a little bit harder, the end to this bullshit is near...
