fuck.

It's 5:20am and I can't sleep. This is not unusual. I'm just laying here in the dark with oddly itchy palms, and the armpits of my nightgown too tight so I keep tugging and pulling at them, and I toss and turn and it gets twisted around my body so I have to straighten it over and over again. And my fan is blowing on me because it is always blowing on me, but it moves my hair around on my face and it tickles my forehead and drives me crazy. My mind keeps wandering off into awful places, and I have that icky churning of jagged, pointy rocks in my hollow chest again, chewing and gnawing me up from the inside out. I don't know how to make any of this stop. I'm not really tired at all, and I am getting a headache, and I am so bored and restless and broken all at once. I don't know how to do anything or be anything or take part in anything at all besides lay here in my bed uncomfortable and lousy with confused stagnation.