People go crazy. I mean, that's like a thing that does happen. There are famous misanthropes who locked themselves away. There are abandoned old asylums that once held people who by today's standards probably weren't so bad. Most of them, anyway. Seems like if you were just sorta weird you were considered crazy. But there is a real crazy that exists. It is something of a pit you kinda slowly slip away into. Nervous breakdowns imply a sudden onset of crazy, but that isn't what I'm talking about today. What I mean is this gradual ticking away of time where just a little bit of crazy sneaks its way in each day until eventually you're not quite sure what percent of you is in fact crazy and which part might be salvageable. Is it possible to come back from crazy, or is it a line that once crossed is permanent and absolute?
I have many theories in regards to mental illness and spirituality. I think crazy comes in forms far beyond psychological manifestations. I think it is more otherworldly than that. Crazy is your soul dancing with the other side a bit. Crazy is when you start to relate more to the dark rhelm than the one we know on a conscious level. Depression is losing sight of the things keeping us in place in this plane of existence. It is being trapped between two worlds with neither of them feeling like where you are supposed to be. This is what crazy is. I am absolutely sure of it. It is a crisis of spirit. Of soul. Of being alive in a body. It's when the normal distractions don't distract you anymore. That is crazy.
The problem is once you become intimate with crazy it's hard to resist it. Fighting it implies inevitable defeat. Failure. Negotiation over something our souls have no control over. It's the ether pulling us one way while our flesh is planted firmly elsewhere. At some point acceptance of crazy feels good. You can take a deep breath again. Dig your heels into the abyss and settle in. Let existential dread wash over you like a warm blanket on a chilly day. Wallow in that shit. It's just so much easier that way.
