com⋅pla⋅cen⋅cy [kuh
m-pley-suhn-see]noun, plural -cies.
| 1. | a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc. |
I've allowed myself to get so stuck in my little world that I feel as though I've been living in a cocoon; nobody gets in, and I certainly don't ever get out. I've accepted this as my fate. To be me, and that's just what it is. Just me is ok, fuck the rest of the world. Well, that can't fly anymore. I sit here trying to think of the last time I had "fun." How I think, maybe, I have been fun from time to time in the past? I need to laugh more. Smile more. ENJOY my LIFE more. Sure, my priorities have changed, drastically, but I need to strike a balance between the outside world and my nest. Without allowing myself to experience any adventure, I'm only surviving without experiencing much of anything. Letting my little ridiculous fears control me and everything that I do. What a load of shit that is! I need to make some serious changes. I need to stick to it. I need to push through these health issues and not let them consume me. As comfortable as I've supposedly been the past few years, lately I've been feeling like I'm stuck in fucking quicksand. I can see myself slipping away, rapidly, and it scares the living hell out of me. I need to make it stop now before it's too late... Complacency can go fuck itself!!!